5 Ways to be More Sex Positive

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What is sex positivity? Sex positivity is the idea that all sex- so long as it is consensual- is a positive thing. Sex positivity to some is a world view and something that greatly impacts gender roles, sexual violence, and even politics. How do you become more sex positive you ask? We’re here to help!

Here’s 5 ways to incorporate more sex positivity in your life:


Consent & Communication

Consent means both parties involved in a sexual interaction are in agreement. More recently, the idea of ‘enthusiastic consent’ brings to light the idea that not only saying yes, but being excited and engaged in the conversation is crucial. Are you unclear on what consent actually means in practice? We love this metaphor of offering a cup of tea! Overall, communication is key when we think about consent and enthusiastic consent. Cultivating healthy authentic communication between you and your partner(s) allows for deeper trust, comfort, transparency and intimacy, including sexual intimacy.


Accept and Reflect

Researching the political and cultural nature of sex positivity is enlightening and empowers critical thinking around a vital topic. These days there is a plethora of information out there on sexuality and sex positivity (check our favorites: Scarleteen, MeetMindful, Tryst Network and specific articles on Medium). Taking the time to reflect on what makes your engine burn with desire is influential to being more sex positive. Then, accepting not only your desires but others’ is important to a healthy sex positive life. Much of our culture today judges kinks, fetishes, or anything out of the ‘norm’. Sex positivity includes reserving judgement, reflecting on our own desires, and accepting these. Sexuality can mean many things to many people and staying curious allows for greater understanding. What might be your bliss will be another’s diss. You just never know!


Safe Sex

Safe sex can be as simple as empowering yourself to explore and understand your own body. Knowing the importance of practicing safe sex for both yourself and your partner is a sign of high sex positivity. Safe sex includes discussing sexual history and regular STI testing along with using badass condoms that don’t harm you or your partner. Safe sex also encompasses emotional and psychological safety. Supporting your partner if they experience any physical sexual dysfunction or a history of sexual abuse ensures emotional safety.


Respect

R-E-S-P-E-C-T find out what it means to me (and you)! Respect your and your partner(s) boundaries, sexual orientations, preferences and past experiences is necessary for sexual positivity. Maybe your partner(s) is into leather and lace and you’re more of a ‘respecting each other is a must’. This doesn’t always mean saying ‘yes’. It does mean respecting consensual choices - always.


Explore!

Exploring your sexuality solo or with a consensual partner creates space for creativity and greater sexual positivity. Maybe exploring means reading a romance novel, a blog post on dom/sub or making your first trip to a sex toy store with your partner. Looking for inspiration? Here’s a kink list from A to Z to get your creative juices flowing. Sometimes insecurities or misconceptions might come up. No problem, ask an expert. The sky’s the limit! Let your ‘freak’ flag fly. Exploring your sexuality is healthy, normal, and leads to more sex positivity.


Let’s bring more positivity into sex!


This article is a guest post by Bonnie Gerlaugh. The emojis in the cover picture are from Flirtmoji.